yesterday, i was balancing the checkbook (yuck), paying bills, going through mail (the not-so-fun kind of mail) and came across a reminder for me to book an appointment in a few months with my endocrinologist at the nearby medical university. every year i have to pay (and it's a hefty penny) her a visit to make sure that traces of my dad's hereditary thyroid cancer are not appearing.
i must admit, the whole thing is frightening. especially since i missed last year's appointment because i was pregnant. so, in my mind, i'm all the more suseptible since it's been two years from my last check. anyways, i get loads of bloodwork done, pee in a cup for 24 hours, drink some god-forsaken juice, and undergo some genetic testing. which, in all reality, i'm so very thankful for. it's amazing that there are tests like this to possibly prevent or catch a future uncurable cancer before it's too late.
the thought always crosses my mind... what if they do find something and say it's too late? i don't want my kids to grow up without me. i don't want them to be without a mom like i was without a dad. and so i cried.
and then i was reminded of how ugly it is to worry and fret over the "what if's" and "tomorrows." God is the God of tomorrow. and of course, Sunday's sermon was all about worry and prayer. how fitting.
thank the Lord for His sweet whispers of peace, reminders of how to trust Him, glimpses of His faithfulness, and an unending love that bids me to cast all of my cares upon Him for He cares for me.
do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. -philippians 4:6-7
you hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. -psalm 139:5
those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be moved, but abides forever. as the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the Lord surrounds his people, from this time forth and forevermore. - psalm 125:1-2
casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. - 1 peter 5:7
85 {comments}:
Carissa,
I am pretty sure god's whispers to me was through you this morning!! I cried a bunch yesterday after reviewing all the side effects and rishks of the new med with my pharm! I had alot of what ifs too, I worried what if just like you and how I didn't want Kelcee to grow up without me! I think we were in the same thought process yesterday!
Girl I didn't know you had this struggle on your mind! You my friend always say I'm strong but you are equally that or more! I will pray for you that god gives you peace and girl I feel ya on the hefty medical bills yikes....
These scriptures are perfect! Thanks for them! I am so glad to call you my friend!
Don't worry your pretty little head, when you go I'm sure all will be fine!
xoxo
Summer :0)
I have thoughts like that too...but them I am always reminded that we serve a BIG God who has the very best in store for us. Everything is under His control, and I can rest in that promise forever. :)
beautiful verses to meditate on. Keep them at the front of your mind. That always helps me when I get fearful over something. Praying for you!
Those are great verses when dealing with fear and worry. I go to Phil 4:6-7 often! I also remember when God told Joshua to "fear not." It's hard but true...He's already taken care of whatever it is. Thanks, as always, for the reminder. I'll be praying for your anxiety and the testing.
We need to catch each other on the telephone! I'll be praying for your testing! That is not fun and I can not imagine the what-if's you go through.
Oh girlie I'm sorry you were consumed with worry. Sooo normal and yet we know better as Christians, but it's still really hard. Those verses were just perfect. Saying a prayer right now that everything will be fine.
I'm sorry for your worries and I'm happy to read of your faith and strength...
Of course you cried with the thought of your children growing up without you...you KNOW that feeling and you love --in every truest sense of the word--them more than anything...
Lots of thoughts with you.
I am always full of what ifs, and I know I shouldn't be! Those are some great verses to remember everytime those what ifs start to sneak in! Thanks for sharing!
Carissa,
I love Philippians. The entire book carried me through Todd's cancer diagnosis, treatment, and now. I think of Philippians 4 as my life chapter (can you have a full chapter?)
I'll be praying for the peace of our healing Father for you. Remember, He knows the results. Right now. So do not fear...or at least try not to fear...because I know how hard it is to not. Anytime the fear pops in redirect it with a verse. One of my faves for doing that is, "be still and know that I am God."
Crying is good. Crying is real. And you know how I'm all about being real.
Blessings and mega ((((hugs))))
Rachel
Worry is a terrible thing...but it's so easy to do! I'm so glad you have the strength of the Lord to depend upon in scary times like this! Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding...I'll be praying for you as you struggle with this fear.
Heather
Carissa, I know that you are fine, and those fears do creep up on us. Stay strong and keep the faith that you have.
Karena
Art by Karena
dear carissa,
i agree with rachel that crying is such a healthy reaction
to how you feel. we are not in trouble for moments of
fear. it's when we give into it and dwell there.
you are so wise to speak the truth over yourself.
i love the passage from 1 kings 19 in which the Lord said
He wasn't IN the earthquake or the fire. "but after the fire
came a gentle whisper."
psst. . . He gently leads those who are with young.
I'm such a worry wart. I find myself contemplating the "what if's" alot. sometimes I lose sleep over it. Thank you for sharing this!
Oh I would definitely worry about that too, but like you said its not worth worrying about, because it is what it is and you are doing what you can to catch something before it gets to a worse point!
Hope your having a good Tuesday!
The most encouraging thing about all of this? You DID cry, and then you remembered the truths and promises of our Father, and you found you were being silly. Thank you. There are many days I throw myself pity parties or justify my frustration, but our Father is the God of tomorrows, and forever and HE has my life and pain in His hands. Thank you, sister!
xoxox
Thanks for this. I'm such worry wart about EVERYTHING especially now that I have kids. Sometimes crying is just what I need to release stress and it helps me move on after that. .
My family has a history of thyroid disease, and I've seen what it can do, so I understand! Praise God we serve the Master of the storms of life. The peace bringer, and life giver! {hugs}
I needed to hear this today...more than you know. Thank you Clarissa!
I will be praying for you!! For your appointment, your health, AND that you would conquer over fear! I've struggled with fear for years and I know how crippling it can be ... especially when walked into a doctor's office. sending hugs your way!!
You are a wise woman! I will pray for the future health of your body so you can always be with your family!
lovely post x
sometimes we have to remind our heart to pick up on the things we KNOW in our head. We KNOW that the Lord is huge and that his plans are perfect but sometimes our feelings try and take over. This was an excellent reminder to live daily in peace that only the Father can provide.
I think it is incredibly *normal* to be worried about that! I won't even pretend to understand what it's like to be faced with the threat of cancer, but one quote that I repeat often in times when I'm afraid is this: "Worry is a burden God never intended us to bear." A friend shared it with me once, and it really helps to redirect my mind on other things. Thanks for sharing your heart!
I totally agree. You don't know how many times I have fretted over things to come. Thanks for the lovely reminder to give it all to him. 1 Peter 5:7 is one of my favorite verses, btw. :-)
Ah yes... worry. It creeps up and tries to take hold. But things we worry about are out of our control. All will happen in God's timing and through His plan. I love that Philippians verse so much! Wonderful post Carissa.
I'm so thankful to hear The Son through His Word! Thanks for the encouragment through your trial! By sharing it, you've defeated satan's plans for you and heaven rejoices! Wooo!
Your words are so beautiful and especially touched me today. My dad is going through alot medically right now. And I worry. He had a needle biopsy on his thyroid yesterday, so this post couldn't have come at a better time for me. He has a major surgery to repair his carotid artery soon. I needed your words. It is amazing to see God's work in action. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you. And I am gonna re-post one of your passages...
What a wonderful reminder. I struggle with this daily - especially being a mom of 2 small children. My greatest fear is that something will happen and I will not be around to watch them grow, have families of their own. I pray for good news for you during all your testing. BLESSINGS!
It is good to sometimes cry..what is encouraging is that you picked yourself up and remembered that God is in control and He is always there to comfort us! Fear is very ugly and can take over your whole life if you let it. Thank you for the encouragement today and the verses. I love how God wants us to give Him all our cares because he loves us.
i. love. you.
Worry and fretting are ugly things, but somehow we always seem to do them, even though we know God is right there with us. It is just part of our nature I believe. It is amazing that there are tests these days that will help prevent/detect such a terrible disease.
You know all you have to do is cling to God for comfort if you're afraid, and pray about it every chance you get. Soon you will be holding a sweet little baby girl in your arms and will be so smitten, the ugly thoughts will leave your mind.
Have a great day friend, and take care of yourself!
xoxo
Sweet post today~ praying for peace for you and your family! the awesome thing is that your fear is correctly handed over to the One who can take care of it- such a gift! Hope you have a great day!
Cancer is such an ugly word. I understand your worry completely, but like you said, God has your back 100 percent. Girl, He knows the number of hairs on your head. Trust in Him. Don't worry, he knows your sweet babies need their momma! I'm praying for you.
Awww sweet Carissa! You are so good and I am sure this must be frightening. Know I am thinking and praying for you. How long does it take to get results back?
i hate it when i worry like that too. as moms we worry about not being here for our kids. so scary...and then we remind ourselves who is in charge.
thanks for the post it is a great reminder to me!
You know with what we are facing, I have been there girl! The sad part is that I stubbornly do it over and over. The good part is that I am able to remind myself of the big God we serve. "Do not be anxious about anything..." is my go to verse(s) that you quoted above. Speak it, speak it, speak it!
It seems like I always struggled more with fear when I was pregnant. Have you found that to be true as well? I learned to audibly talk to God when those fearful thoughts would come. Continue to claim those verses and slap ole Satan right in the face! :-)
hey carissa! stop by today... i left something for you on my blog.
http://leighashley.blogspot.com/2010/05/few-sweet-blogs.html
I have thoughts like that too! I didn't go to the gyno for 7 years, and was sure I had cancer. They did find something that could be fixed, but not cancer.
I worry every year when I get a mammogram due to breast cancer in the family. I know that God does not want us to worry about the "what if's". We simply have to trust. It is still hard though. Praying peace over you!
This world and it's troubles are very scary, thank the Lord He is in charge. We can always trust in Him!
I SO needed to hear this today! I love these verses and I'll be meditating on them. I'll be praying for you! Have a Blessed Day!
I'm sorry you had such a hard time! And every year! bah. It is times like that that I wonder how those without Christ make it from day to day. I'm so glad you were able to find comfort!!!
I know what it feels like to be poked and prodded for the bloodwork. Thanks so much for such an INCREDIBLE reminder to trust in Jesus no matter what. Have a great Tuesday!
I will definitely throw up a prayer for that appointment. Those things can be scary. Thank God that He is waaaaay bigger than us and has it all under control.
I am sure that everything will be fine but it is always a good idea to have a check up! We always should think in a positive way! Everything will be just fine :)
Have a great evening and kisses:)
I will think of you:)
I will be praying for you... had no idea you lost your Dad. I'm so sorry!
I can't imagine the stress you must feel right now. Will be praying for a hedge of peace to be put around you.
I'm so sorry to hear all this and what you have to do, I will be praying for you! I love those verses, and I love little reminders like that from others...so uplifting!
Let us all know when your appt. and we'll pray!
Wow, you are just such an inspirational woman. :) Having those tests run is never fun, but that is pretty neat they have that technology now. Tyson and I are praying for you!! I can't believe that Sage is getting really close to making her appearance in the world! Is her room finally done? :)
Ah, graduation was so great! I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. It was so great visiting California, wish we could all live there!
Hope you have a great Tuesday!!! Praying for you!
love your honesty as always :) thanks for putting it all out there. you're absolutely right that it's easy to get caught up in worrying about the what ifs but our God will provide :)
P.S. might be a little bit of hormones too eh? you're getting close!
Stay strong in your faith girl!! Thanks for sharing this! let us know about the appt, and praying for you!
thought I'd come check up on you to make sure you didn't have Sage and I missed it!
beautiful post, so inspiring. praying for you that the appointment goes well!
have you ever tried GRILLED pb&j with milk? Just put a bit of butter on either side of the sandwich (much like a grilled cheese), and put it in a hot pan. I promise you that your life will never be the same...
lemme know how you like it :)
praying the appointment goes well.
after having dustin i had to have a nuclear med scan and biopsy done on a lump on my thyroid. SCARY STUFF! especially since shaun's dad died of thyroid cancer. i immediately thought the worst. thankfully the lump/cyst was beinign (i'm sure i spelled that incorrectly) but it's still scary to go through. and yet BUT still GOD is good. and remains faithful.
and i've never tried grilled PB&J, it sounds interesting, but you could try it and use your butter oil spritzed on it instead of butter. :0)
beautiful. praying for a great check up!
I just love it when it seems as if a sermon was directed straight to you. It's really amazing how God works!
I pray and hope that all is well!
So true. It's always such a wonderful reminder when they preach about something on our hearts. It's just God way of talking to us in ways we can truly understand. What a great post!
"Let Go and Let God"
So true, you always have to look on the positive side when it comes to things like this.
I didn't know they had tests like that. I have hypothyroid and so I take synthetic everyday. Last year I had to have a biopsy because of suspicious nodules. Thankfully I'm fine, but it sure was scary and very painful. My sister had thyroid cancer but it was capsulized (I think) so she just had it removed. But I had no idea there could be a genetic link.
I don't know if your fear has subsided or not but I want you to know that God speaks through you. You're words inspire and your choice of scripture confirms. So thank you for being a vessel. :)
Hey friend...thanks for your sweet comments today. I referenced this post on my blog today. Hopefully that's ok...:)
Keep believing and seeking Him.
Rachel
Wow. I needed this. THose verses are so encouraging. I hope your appointment goes well! Praying for you....
Oh sweetie that does sound pretty scary. I'm like that everytime I'm tested for breast cancer (I'm at high rick for that). Just remember you have so many people out there praying for you. It will all be alright! I just love those verses!
SUCH a great reminder! No worries in the Lord when we cast all our cares on Him...He can handle it! Great post!!! Yeah and ew, to the tooth in the office, lol...thanks for the comments on my post!
I love how strong you are in your faith lady!! Great words to meditate on (:
Our family goes thru the same thing every year as my husband has CLL, a type of leukemia that needs to be monitored in case it flares up. Blood cancers are in his family and I try to forget that all the other 364 days of the year. One lady said in passing one day: God doesn't want us to live in fear or anxiety. That little message ressonated in my heart and I hold on to it whenever I notice that fear's uggly head is rizing.
Prayers to you!
We have many different forms of cancer in our family and every time I go to the doctor I expect the worst...my nightmare is that my kids grow up without me.
Beautiful words to remind us and for us to find comfort in. Best thoughts and prayers are with you.
Praying for you sweet Carissa! Let us know how it goes.
Thanks for sharing this! I needed to be reminded of these verses today.... He is with you!
Carissa,
So beautifully spoken. Sometimes when we face our fears we realize that it is not from God and that he only brings peace and courage-the opposite of fear.
I am so glad you are getting checked for this cancer. My dear friend jsut found out she had thyroid cancer and she had immediate surgery to have it removed. She is pregnant so she wouldn't of even known if she hadn't gotten a routine test. God was watching out for her....and he will do the same for you!
<3 Anna
Carissa~ Lovely words, and you're right, it's not worth the stress. Sometimes things are out of our control, and in God's hands. But I do know he doesn't give us anything that we can't handle:-)
At least you're all happy and healthy, and just make healthy choices in life:-)
P.S. Hey girly, I have a lil award for your fab blog on my last post:-)
We deal with some hereditary issues, too, so I know the anxiety. Good post on how faith can conquer fear! God will reward that with peace of mind.
Can't remember how I found your blog, but it is very good. If you get a chance, please visit mine at Family Fountain.
God bless.
sweet post you are so sweet.........Lovely words!! You are in my prayers....xoxo
i love your blog, carissa! (found it thru meet the hesson's blog) i am also due in a few weeks with a little girl... congrats to your sweet little family. (teamus614.wordpress.com) look forward to "getting to know you better" thru your blog... keep it up!
hi carissa ... tell your man that my man had to wait until his 50th birthday for his Harley Davidson. :) I SURPRISED him back in March (you can read about it and see pics in the archives). It was a life-long dream, and I was able to pull off the biggest surprise of my life.
:) :) :)
Great blog. I just found you :)
Oh, I would cry, too! The verses you are claiming, though, are so perfect and so TRUE! I needed to hear them today--ok, I need to hear them everyday!! And I know I will be praying them over you, sweet Carissa. That He will flood you with His peace and quiet you with His love!
Patience is a virtue as they always say. It's so hard not to be anxious, but having faith is worth the extra effort. I try to practice this everyday. :)
Ahh sometimes this is easier said than done! I think worrying is just one of my personality traits
oh carissa, these are some great words and verses you've mentioned in your post here. i'm definitely a worry wart too... about everything and anything so i'm sure i'd be feeling the same way as you. best thoughts are with you hun!!
oh carissa i am so sorry about that! it can be so easy to worry and fret. but those are GREAT verses. i absolutely love that first one and definitely have it starred in my bible. last year i had all these things building up and i was freaking out. but i took time every day to read a bunch of different verses dealing with anxiety and worry and it really helped.
wonderful post and i hope all is well with your health!
xo
Carissa--your honesty and amazing testimonies always encourage my heart so much. I will definitely keep you in my prayers on this. How wonderful it is that our God asks us to give Him our worries and anxieties...He wants to take them so we don't have to bare them. So awesome.
today i needed this.
praise the Lord.
Dear Carissa, I know the feeling. Well, not for me, even if my brother has been cancer free for 10 years, he still has to do his tests every six months. It is always hard on anyone.
I hope you are feeling well!!!
Happy Mother's day!!
Awesome post! Reminds me of the verse in Timothy where it says God has not given us a spirit of fear... Thanks so much for sharing this!
Just found your blog today, it's awesome, and I will definitely be following!
Worry creeps it's ugly head into all of our thoughts...am glad that you put these Bible passages in.
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