i’m not the most qualified gal to be writing this post considering i’ve only been a stay-at-home mom for two years, but i wanted to share our experience of going to one income and living there. in a few words, i’d call it an adventure. in a few more words i’d call it a blessed journey of the Lord’s provision.
our real life scenario: two kids under the age of two, husband in full time ministry married to a stay-at-home mom.
spending: babies are expensive. life is expensive. when it rains it pours; everything seems to break all at once. but, God is faithful. always. He provides.
saving: we try to save money as much as possible. here are some practical ways…
:: i don’t get my hair done , i don’t get my nails done, i don’t get my eyebrows waxed, i don’t get massages. not that these things are wrong. but they would be for us. they aren’t necessities.
:: i pump bottles instead of buying formula. (i would nurse, but there were complications and i wasn’t able to.)
:: we buy target brand diapers. they are really good… never had a leak and i have a boy and a girl; it’s safe to say they are gender neutral! : ) i know, i’d save more if we invested in cloth diapers. but, i’m not willing to sacrifice my precious time to clean diapers.
:: we rarely eat out as a family. and if we do, we don’t spend more than $20. usually we eat at a Mexican restaurant because they are safe havens for egg-allergy ridden, Hunter, and we can get out of there for under $10.
:: i never spend more than $10/outfit on our kids. thankfully, my sweet sister-in-law gives us hand-me-downs for Sage. i rarely have to buy her anything. for Hunter, i scour the clearance racks at target. i recently got him some jeans and jacket for next winter that were $3 a piece. garage sale-ing is great, too. hubby and i get new clothes here and there. and when we do, they are mostly on clearance. and yes, it’s a major treat.
:: we do free things. go to parks. go on walks. go to the beach. when we do something like the zoo, it’s a splurge. and extra special.
:: for groceries, i use coupons when possible. but, i don’t go hardcore like i used to. i don’t want to feed my family processed preservatives; i think it is more of an investment to spend the extra little bit to buy healthy. i buy the store brand often and i really think it is just as good as the name brand.
:: we have date nights on our couch with a movie (we used to never watch movies, but now we realize it's a cheap thing to do). once in a while we go out for special occasions like birthdays or our anniversary.
:: hubby and i don’t buy each other gifts. **gasp** that is so un-american, right? ; ) again, not that it’s bad to buy each other gifts, we just can’t afford it at this stage in our life.
:: it is possible to do things cheaply… like a baby’s nursery for way under $200 (see below!), and a first birthday party for under $40!
provision: although we don’t have a savings account, we are provided for. our needs are met. and that is what the Lord promises. it doesn’t seem like we should be able to make it, but we do. glimpses of the Lord’s provision in our life~
:: we lived off of one vehicle (that one vehicle was a money pit and needed repair after repair) for about 10 months. it was a challenge… i was stuck at home all week long. however, in the grand scheme of things, it was no big deal. but still, God , in His mercy provided. - a family in our chuch gave us a vehicle. yes, i said GAVE. see, God is faithful.
:: God’s people are generous and have been Christ’s hand’s extended in some major ways in our life beyond the gift of a vehicle.
:: we received a notice saying our mortgage was going to go up. in my head i had foreclosure written in our future because we honestly couldn’t afford anything more. it ended up only increasing by $8. thank you God.
to those of you that have asked (like cait!) about how we afford to keep me home, i hope this gives you a bit of an idea. : )
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?
(Matthew 6:25-26 ESV)
77 {comments}:
you guys sound a lot like us! except i am impressed you can do mexican for less than $10. We used to do that with just Drew and i, but Brayden eats ALL of a kids meal (quesadilla, beans and rice) plus some of our fajitas that we split, plus chips and dip. to say he eats us out of house and home is probably accurate. Lord help us when he's 13! haha!
oh, and ps-- do you guys have one of those bi-annual consignment sales? I get ALL of my boys clothes there, for around $3 for each piece (sometimes even less since they have a 1/2 off day and I can wait until then for the littlest guy). I can cloth both boys for an entire year for no more than $400 total, and they wear ALL namebrand stuff (Gap, Old Navy, even some Ralph Lauren).
Great post...I've been doing the staying at home thing quite a bit longer and it is a challenge. I get a lot of grief for going to Walmart but I can't even imagine what my bill would be if I didn't (and I cook entirely from scratch). I am the queen of free activities...bike riding, going to the beach (I park in free parking), picnics, library, story time....I space out the activities that cost money. One thing you may consider is getting Netflix. It's about $9/month if you get one movie at a time but then you can watch movies on your computer as much as you want (and we've figured out how to hook it up to the tv through our laptop).
God is good, ALL the time and ALL the time, God is good.
It is so refreshing to read this.
Truly a couple working together for the betterment of their family and in doing so honoring God.
I love this post!!! I am with you on sooo many categories. Two things that specifically stuck out- I LOVE LOVE LOVE Target diapers!!! Not only are they waaaay less expensive, to me they work better than the more expensive ones! And we also don't give each other gifts. People think we are CRAZY for doing that, which is so funny to me. Why go into debt (or use money that could be used for, I don't know? Food??!!) just to have something to unwrap?! So anyway, I enjoyed this post. :)
Thanks for sharing!!
Great post Carissa! I look back over 2010(my first full year as a sahm) and financially it was really tough. But its so cool to look back and see every month How God took care of things for us. :)
Love it! We do a lot of these things as well because we're trying very hard to pay off our debt so I can be a SAHM. Question: can you post about how you did a first birthday party for under $40? My daughter's is quickly approaching and I'm starting to plan but the costs are adding up! I'd love to hear your tips. :)
Great suggestions! I think sometimes having the "I have enough" mindset is half of the battle.
Amen, God is ever so faithful! We are self employed and it's feast or famine around here. There have been weeks, even months where God literally stepped in at just the right (often very last) minute, to show us His ultimate faithfulness. As the Word says, He never forsakes the righteous (and we are, in Christ!) or leaves His seed begging for bread.
All that I have need of, He has provided - because our needs are only limited by His supply!
hi there,
popp'n over from farmgirl paints - your painting looks so nice! :)
your post is all to familiar to me.
we're in a very similar season of life. relying on provision one.need.at.a.time. it seems.
one thing i could add to your list is TRADE.
i often trade time/talents with others to get 'little pleasures'
trade child care with friends so we all get a date night now and then.
trade services - a girl friend of mine is a stylist, she gussies me up, and i keep her organized (i'm a professional organizer) :)
have a blessed day, i'm sure i'll be back to visit!
~h
Thanks for sharing! Great tips- it is so important to stay disciplined! And also such a great testimony :)
God is always faithful to provide when you trust Him. I buy most of my kids clothes at Goodwill...actually I get most of mine there too. Children's resale shops are a great place to shop too! If you can take the time it is worth it. I find barely used brand name stuff all the time. And yea for Target clearance...just got my youngest a shirt for $1.50. It is encouraging to hear how other families "save". Most of our date nights are watching movies on the couch too! Thanks for sharing your tips.
so encouraging to hear, carissa. i feel like i used to have a better idea of living in a one income home (because i did live in one growing up). but i've totally been spoiled with ted and i both working...not that money just flows in, but it's been far too easy. your post was a good reminder to be wise about where we set the bar for our standard of living. thanks!
As a soon-to-be stay at home mommy with a husband who's got just under a year and a half of law school left, I really appreciated this post! We'll be going an entire year without either of us working, but I just know that God will provide. He gave us this baby, so He obviously has a plan to take care of him/her! And your tips were super helpful..so thanks. Unfortunately budgeting and finances is NOT my forte.
Oh girl when I first started staying home it was HARD. It's definitely a sacrifice, but one you will NEVER ever regret. One day you will find that there is more. God is so good about that.
I can remember how hard it was a few years ago when my hubby was just starting out and we had two kiddos under two...babies are expensive! I think everything in this post just shows how much you love your family and how much effort and sacrifice you put into making sure your family has all it's needs met! Such an awesome thing when there are so many others in the world with an 'I want everything' attitude!
What a great post! It's loaded with good, practical ideas and also serves as an encouragement to other young mothers wanting to stay at home. This grammy is very impressed!
LOVE this post! I think I am getting better at the whole saving thing and not needing the latest and the greatest but I do sometimes still struggle with it. Thanks for sharing that verse!!
Wow, those are some great money-savers, Carissa! :)
~bree
http://idesigns-bree.blogspot.com
as a fellow stay at home mom of 3, an army wife, I LOVE this post! thank you for giving glory to God for what he teaches, how he provides!
That's such a disciplined method! Haha wow. I'm only 16 and I have to save -- but that's hard core right there. But that's good...
becuase I'm praying right now that God will pbless you with so much that you won't know what to do. Because you've shown that you can be trusted to invest and save what he'll give you and not throw it away . :)
I love you guys.... I really do. You inspire me for my life when my time to start one comes along. For now I'm just waiting and preparing myself. :)
xx,
Bleah Briann @ blonde4christ.blogspot.com
I'm so glad I stumbled across your blog and read this post! It is refreshing and encouraging to know that there are godly young moms choosing to stay at home. I made that choice over 16 years ago and have never looked back. It is one of the most important and signifcant decisions my husband and I ever made. I am still a stay at home mom! It is completely worth every sacrifice our family has made. In fact, the blessings far outweigh the sacrifices! I love your attitude and your willingness to trust in God's faithfulness and provision.
okay i just adore this post!!! We're in a similar situation: husband full time ministry and me a stay at home wife - about to be mom. These are all things we do too! We can do a date night at the local Italian restaurant for $15!!:) We always buy clothes on clearance and we're cloth diapering (with only 1 baby I think I'll have more laundry time than you!) haha
This is such a great post and I am going to share this with others! :)
LOVE this post :) I do not regret the time that I spent at home one little bit. The time that I have spent with my kids is worth so much more than dinners & movies out and always adorable clothes. I LOVED the times when we would just hang out with other couples and share a meal, or taking the kids to the park. Simplicity is so much better! And God is SO faithful to provide.
This is great. I love being able to read an honest post about having to make it work on a budget... so many people write about coupons, but you are right most of those are things that are not very healthy and you often buy what you don't use! Thanks for keeping it real!
This post is really inspiring. So many of us get caught up in the luxuries of life. I have began to really soak in and notice that God DOES provide. I am really needing to hunker down on my spending and have been good so far this year. I gave up my pedicures and going out to lunch everyday. Those are big deals to me...but in the grand scheme of things...they really arent. Anyways, just wanted to say thank you for sharing this :)
You are an inspiration as always, it can be so hard to put (and keep) your life in God's hands without wanting to be a control freak, my issue, but it's something that I am trying to work harder at.
Thanks - you always seem to write about something I need to hear/see when I need it the most.
I am handwriting the scripture as we speak and posting on my computer.
What an inspiration you and your family are. People need to realize that its just stuff and you can't take it with you. Less is more!
I enjoyed this post.. I'm a stay at home momma, and my husband is a cowboy. Let me just say, a man doesn't cowboy for money. He does it for the way of life.
With that said, there have been months where the bank was overdrawn, I didn't know how on earth I was going to pay that next bill, or buy diapers. But it always works out, we have never gone hungry. The Lord always provides, and I should just rest in that instead of getting so stressed when the bills start coming in! ;) You defiantly have to sacrifice, but its really not that much of a sacrifice in the long run. I'd rather have less things, and be able to live the way we do. :)
wow... you and your family really are an inspiration!!! God is good- all the time. Thanks for sharing- i miss being able to read your posts!!
LOVE this post :) He IS faithful to provide!!! And He honors those that stay home with to raise their sweet babies. I too can testify to time and time again that it should NOT have worked but we have had more than enough. I have a feeling living on a teachers salary is about the same as a ministers salary :) not too much to work with!!!
Loved reading ways you save! There will be a day when we can have a savings account.... so thankful this world is not our home :)
I'm so thankful that you wrote this. My husband and I are in a similar situation as far as we don't have extra money to spend, and we have a baby on the way. I was just thinking, as I was looking at other blogs, how my life is so different because I can't post on what I wore or what party I threw, or how I decorated whatever. When I was single I spent money and now being married it amazes me how little I need to spend. I'm thankful that through this God has shown me that there are way way more important things than spending money. I like this person better than that one!
P.S. My hubs and I don't buy each other gifts either! I don't know if we ever will, even if we ever have money to do so.
Thanks for making me feel I'm not the only one!
thank you so much for this - it's something i really needed to hear.
amen!
Thank you for your tips :). we do most of them also, but it never hurts to hear more.
love in Christ!
My husband is also in full time ministry. He was invited to come to Africa to speak this month. Only we would have to provide the money for the flight. He was going to pass up the offer with it being just after Christmas and all. But without us saying a word about it, money just started to flood in. By the end, the flight was not only paid for but also all the immunizations he needed (which were over $500). Where God calls us, He provides for...including being a stay at home mom. Blessings!
So I came back to read your post again for the millionth time this morning:) I just love it! What a comfort it is to see others depending on God for their every need, not getting caught up in the savings acct, bank balance. You are a true inspiration to me! Thank you again for this post!!
Wow, awesome post! We've had one car now for two years because one honestly doesn't NEED two cars. Eventually we will, but not right now. And yes I'm "stuck at home" but really, what else would I be doing? I WOULD serve more at church and hang out with friends, but really I'm ok with the whole one car...even if it is a coup! I've been shocked at the blogs I read where people talk about money being tight and then the next they talk about how they got their roots done followed by a massage. Say WHAT??? Not trying to judge, but I honestly don't know how people do it!
Thanks for the insight. I would love to only work part time when I have kids and sometimes I wonder how we will make it work. This helps me see that at this point in life, we really aren't sacrificing anything. This is an encouragement to me to look at things more closely and see where we don't really need a lot of the things we think we do.
This was a great post, we are in the exact same boat. Exact! I love being home, and consider it such a blessing to be raising my sweet boys. Somedays are harder than others, but God is always faithful, and we have been blessed over and over. I am thankful for a sister in-law who does my hair, she helps me feel like a pretty mom, and not like I have lost myself in the daily... : ) I would love for you to stop and say Hi. Hope you have a great Thursday!
Emily
We do a lot of the same things - Mexican restaurants are awesome for kids, they are noisy, fast, and cheap... perfect for us! ;)
Thank God for hand-me-downs- My boys have been clothed for 5 years and all I've bought are shoes! We aren't big on gifts either- people think I am crazy when we only buy our kids a couple of small things for Christmas, but they get SOOO much from grandparents and other family, their rooms are packed out with new toys by Christmas morning.
Great Post!! definitely one of my favorite verses to live by =)
sometimes i feel like as soon as we get just a teeny bit of extra money, *poof* the car dies or such-and-such huge bill is suddenly due. like we always seem to be evening-out and barely putting any into savings. but my husband is so faithful to remind me that GOD is faithful - and like you, we always have enough for the day. my husband also shared with me how he's really been meditating lately on the concept of 'daily bread' - not weekly, monthly, or yearly. Jesus didn't waste words and so we are trying to be content with *today.* blessings to you as you seek to do lots with little. :)
it is an encouragement to find other sahm who are forced to get creative with their money, too. :)
Love this post! And I'm a lover of the Target diapers too! :)
Awesome Carissa! We are the same - husband in ministry (on low wage), 4 kids and me being a stay at home mum. We do many of the things you said and somehow God always provides. It's an adventure, sort of like a misisons trip in our own land!
Oh, girl... you know I loved you before this post. Now, well, I love you even more! :-) Thank you for sharing and making the rest of us feel like we're not alone!
I resonate with so much of what you said!! I feel like God keeps our family in this place of fully relying on him financially. Sometimes it doesn't feel like a blast, but the season is rich in knowing he is our portion and provider!
Sweet Carissa!! Thank you for listening to God's nudge to share this with your readers! As always, your words have blessed me tremendously! God promises to trust us with the "big" when we show Him He can trust us with the "small". He's trusting you "BIG"! :D What a blessing you are to those you touch through your words and daily acts of faith...especially those babies in your care! I especially love where you stated how you can't entertain the thoughts of what you deserve. God has spoken so much to me about that lately. Although I am budget-crazy and we watch our spending closely in this season before babies, your words have encouraged me to look even closer to those unnecessary expenses in our life right now that could be used down the road as an investment in our children.
thanks for this, carissa! i've been learning this past year how to live frugally as well - college is expensive! when i get married i want to stay home with my kids, so thank you for the encouragement that it still can be done!
So true. And terrifying at the same time. It's hard for me not to worry about tomorrow, even though He tells me not to.....
Do you have a Kid to Kid near you? It's where I get all my boys' clothes. I rarely have to spend more than $3 on anything.
The Survival Mama
I'm cracking up because I so could have written this exact post- Scary, kind of :) It's good to know there are other families out there who are choosing simplicity & family over money & success. {I'm so w/ you on the coupon thing too- I tried to be a coupon queen, but soon realized the crappy food they actually put coupons out for.}
I love this post! It's so refreshing with the consumerism that is constantly thrown at you! We decided to do a year of just thoughtful gifts...seriously, BEST IDEA EVER. I don't have to fret about what to get the hubs, and while thinking of what to make him I remember how much I appreciate him!!
wow! your such a role model! I am not a mom...yet. I do not stay at home...yet. But if I do, I want to think of things like you do! So glad the Lord has blessed you!
AWESOME post! And yes Target diapers are wonderful...they are cheaper and they seem to work better!
Great tips Carissa! We follow a lot of these also as I am now only working part time... but it's so worth it to have the extra time off with Ellie.
Um, did I write this post or did you??
:)
yeah! to you and your hubs! while my hubs isn't a pastor we have always lived on one income. let me tell you girl its a struggle. but i have been a stay at home mom for 24 years. the youngest is almost 14 and the older two are out of the house. sure there have been rough days.. but in the end its so worth always being there for my kids, for the family. it has helped to know that it has been just as important to my husband. we have missed out on vacations and boats and RV's and whatever else you can think of. but i have great kids and a strong family and we all love the lord! greatest victory.
I am a relatively new follower since before Christmas, and I thought you were "rich". Now I see that you *really* are.
Love that!
i love hearing how God provides w/others!
I tell you just when I think 'we can't' God puts a little can back into the picture!
and what would we do w/o hand me downs? I am totally blessed that I have friends and family who are willing to part w/their kids stuff to pass on to us! I always pay it forward too! every little bit helps
great post, so many practical things I grew up with :) It's encouraging to hear what God's provided for you, especially as my husband is transitioning to FT ministry and we're buying a home in the next 2 months.
Oh, Carissa, this just brought such joy to my heart! Just knowing that there are such committed young couples out there is such an encouragement. Your family will be blessed beyond measure for your wise, wise financial decisions. You are such a testimony to Him week in and week out and I am blessed by every entry you write.
Hugs to you my dear!
Love this Carissa.
Thank you for your prayers and notes and kindness and love for my Samuel. I cannot even begin to tell you how much you are a blessing to me. Really.
(and we love Target brand dipes as well)
Rachel
Thank you so much for writing this post. Although I do not have the privilege of staying home, I fight the financial battles daily as I work full time at the church and hubby is still laid off. God is faithful!
This is a great post. Thank you for writing it, it really spoke to me. A good bit of it was very relatable to me and I also found some new inspiration/ideas. Glad I found your blog!
I love all that white!! I've been trying to save like no tomorrow!!
love your honesty. love your faithfulness even more. this was such an encouragement!!
What a wonderful post. Thank you for being so honest.
I think it's great that you and your husband realize how important it is to be wise and save...and wow that white lattice frame is cute! :)
Hi Carissa, I really loved this post. Thank you so much for coming over from Farmgirls. I was so super nervous that everyone would hate me. You know, since I spoil my kid!
I am super sorry that you had a bad experience with a photographer. I honestly am AMAZED at how many people buy big 2000 cameras and just start a business. I go to their pages and I see their pictures and I think they are horrendous. I couldn't imagine charging for their work.
If you lived near me, I would shoot you for free : )
Love your rules to live inexpensively. Very smart!
My husband and I don't buy each other gifts either. If we want something, we talk about it and buy it if we have enough saved.
www.abrilliantmelody.com
I love this post and I love your blog! I have been reading for awhile but don't think I ever left a comment before--though I have done a lot of Miscellany Monday posts (did I spell that right?!)
I have been a stay at home mom for about 9 years and we still live the way you wrote about. It's tough but I wouldnt trade being able to be home with my kids everyday for anything.
We homeschool, in part due to my son's life-threatening illness but part to because we love it and the Lord has made it clear that it's right for our family so I will be a stay at home mom for a reeeeeally long time.
Our church fixed our car for us for free (a couple thousand dollars worth!) and pretty much everything else you wrote about was right on--nice to know I am not the only one who goes without all those materialistic things even though she would enjoy them, just because it ins't a necessity.
Have a great week and thanks again--this was so encouraging to me : )
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful!!!!!! So transparent and so wonderfully shared in our culture! I'm a couple of decades down the road from you, but I can look back and know that God has sooo blessed our spiritually financial decision to trust Him with our all! So many of the things you are doing, I did, too...and many we are STILL doing, yes, willingly!! One day you will up and realize that there are some things you could do, but just really don't want to! Our upmost fav dates while the kids were little was "in-home datenight"...we'd put the kids to bed a bit earlier than usual, then pop in a movie and eat what we wanted, not what we thought we had to eat to be a good example in front of the kids, lol! So fun! We still love watching movies in the comfort of our own home in our pj's! GREAT POST!!!!!!!
I found your blog from "along for the ride." I love this post. It's beautiful, it's honest, it's true. I started staying home last year. It has been a little bit of an adjustment but not as bad as I thought. You're right.... it's worth it and God will always provide for us.
I found your post too from Along For The Ride. I've been a stay at home mom now for five years (of my eleven years of being a mom) and I never get tired of hearing people speak truth about that choice. Society is always telling us to do otherwise. Thank you.
wonderfully written!! just found your blog and love it! i am your newest follower! wonderful to see another southern blogger (i am just a few hours away in NC)! i recently did some money saving tips on my blog. hope you stop by to check it out.
www.laforcebewithyou.com
I just stopped by from Along for the Ride. I'm so thankful I did. My husband and I don't have any kids yet, but we are determined that I be the one to raise our kids. Right now finances are fairly tight, but we always have our needs met and are even able to bless our youth group at church. Our church has also been A HUGE blessing to us the past few months (providing meals for our youth group weekly meetings, giving us financial gifts to use toward our youth group, someone just told us recently that we aren't supposed to buy meat any more, they receive meat and are going to be giving it to us now because Christ told them to do so.) Thank you so much for this encouraging post. I'm going to have to subscribe to your blog now.
My family always questions our decision to have me stay at home when we have kids (both my husband and I are the only ones saved in our immediate families). I always tell them that it will just work out, God will provide for us. When we got married in May of last year, we were going to be living on just my salary as my husband is still finishing up grad school for education. He had a part time job for a few months but had to stop when he started student teaching. It's been tough and we barely scrape by every month but we know that God is our provider and He's doing just that.
Great Post!
this post was so wonderful to read, carissa. i only started staying home about a year and half ago and there were definitely some major financial changes that had to happen....and i'm still learning. it was harder than i imagined, but you were totally right in what you said at the end, "any sacrifice that we make for me to be able to stay home with our kids is really nothing at all. it’s a huge blessing to raise them." i can't imagine it any other way anymore. i believe it truly was God's plan for me, as 6 months after i left work, liam was diagnosed with autism. and i'm so thankful that i'm able to be home with him because no one can care for the him the way that he needs and the way that me or my husband can. thank you for helping me wake up this morning and remember (because i tend to forget in the busyness of our days) how truly blessed i am.
Just now reading this, but so many of the things you wrote about saving money are what my husband and I do. We don't do gifts either, which actually is not big deal at all. Fortunately, gifts made the list last for both of us on love languages.
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