confessions of a carissa.

it's easy to put your best foot forward on the internet.  i think we're all pretty good at that.  in an attempt to be sure that you don't think i have myself all put together, i introduce you to the confessions of carissa:

:: i like chocolate.  way too much chocolate.  it's close to an addiction.

:: i like exercise.  it helps with the chocolate problem.

:: i think too much about myself.  my weight especially.

:: i used to be proficient in multi-tasking.  until i had children.

:: i'd rather stay in my jammies all day and play with my kids than do chores.  i do this too often.

:: i'm frazzled.  i'm clumsy.  i'm nervous.

:: i enjoy politics.  now you think i'm a freak, huh?!

:: i get especially nervous at the check-out line when i'm getting ready to pay.  i feel like i'm being watched.

:: i like to play pretend.  i do school (almost) everyday with hunter just so i can play teacher.

:: i like to pretend that our dog, banjo, is a monkey.

:: did i mention i'm weird?

:: i over-analyze.  everything.  my mind often feels like exploding.

:: i worry.

:: i want long hair just so i can pull it up in a pony tail.  

:: i don't mind being alone.  although alone right now means being with two kids.

:: i've only visited my dad's gravesite once.  he died when i was nine.  i'm 25.  isn't that strange?  i just can't bring myself to do it.  (and, i live 3,000 miles away from it. so that might have something to do with it.)

:: i'm insecure.  

:: my daughter is 8 months old and doesn't like to take naps.  she is crazy.  i've tried everything.  she'd rather jibber jabber in her crib or cry for hours.  but i love her.

:: i worry too much about the nap situation.

:: i don't like taking showers.  but, i tell myself to be a big girl and that proper hygiene is a good idea.

:: cancer breaks my heart.  my greatest fear in life is cancer.  my dad died of cancer.

:: i stay up way too late.  

:: i miss my nose ring.

:: i'm gullible.  my husband convinced me once that goldfish chirp like birds.

:: i have a new obsession with photography.  now if only my skills would follow suit.

:: i don't share Christ enough.

:: i have a weak bladder.  i peed my pants on my honeymoon.  and many other times in my life that i'd rather not remember.  

:: i have had four surgeries on my stomach (not plastic surgery, real surgery, just to be clear).  geesh.  maybe that explains the weak bladder.

:: i've had seizures and couldn't drive for six months.  that was a bummer.  if you have experience with seizures, aren't they the weirdest things?!  oh wait, i have a funny (kind-of) story... in the midst of not being able to drive for six months, i did drive one time.  and it was only like two blocks.  during that not even five minute drive, i was stopped at a police checkpoint.  i've never been so nervous in my life.  i thought they'd hall me away and put me in the slammer for life.  the good news is that the police officer didn't have my doctor's chart in front of him.  whew.  see, i told you it was only kind-of funny... i promise, you had to be there.

:: i don't like talking on the phone.  unless it's my man on the other end.  : )

:: i love my husband, but i don't tell him enough.

:: i'm afraid that my kids are behind in everything.  it's probably because hunter didn't crawl until after 12 mos.  but, guess what?  he's catching up just fine.  

:: i don't have a computer or a printer.  the good news is, i get to use my honey's work laptop when he's home.  i throw myself pity-parties because i want a computer.

:: i'm pathetic.

:: i'm a mess.

:: i'm a sinner.

:: i'm saved by grace.  through the work of Christ's death on the cross and his raising on the 3rd day, God has reconciled man to Himself.  i can know God through Jesus.  my sin's are and will forever be forgiven because of the blood Christ shed.  

:: i rejoice, because of Jesus.

~::~::~

on another note of rejoicing... 

today is my hunter's 2nd birthday.  we are going to do whatever he wants!  well, almost.  otherwise he would starve (he hates eating) and i would not be able to walk by this evening (horsey rides are his favorite).  can't wait to report tomorrow on how our day created by a two year old went!  i cannot believe this picture is already a year old ~

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