i go through the days, most of the time they seem long but then as i look back on a year it seems really fast. to a two year old fifteen minutes is an eternity yet to a twenty-six year old mama fifteen minutes is never enough. the older i am the quicker time passes. when i was three, nap time was dreaded but now it's welcomed. growing up, i thought there was something magical about being a grown-up. now that i'm grown i realize the magic is in the child-like.
isn't it all so weird? perspective totally changes things.
i am not one of those professional moms with a to-do list for everyday along with a set time schedule to order our days. i mean, there are the necessaries - lunch at noon, naps at 1-2 ish, and bed at 7 ish - but beyond that i'm flexible. i used to be a perfectionist; however sometime after i became a mom, i let it all go. i got rid of the try hard because at the end of my day when the to-do's were left undone, it left me flustered, un-gracious, and crabby. if my to-do list wasn't crossed off then i was not happy. so what did i do? threw all those lists in the trash can.
and guess what? i am not mastered by a list that tells me what i need to do every single day and i'm free to live without measuring up to some self-created tabulation. i highly recommend it.
i am not a three steps to such and such program type of girl. i don't think there's a magic formula for managing time well. i read my Bible when the house is quiet - sometimes it's in the morning, most of the time it's during nap time or even at night. and guess what?! some days i even take a nap myself. because i'd be prideful if i didn't tell you that i'm tired all too often. on days that i really have my t's crossed, i prepare a crock pot meal for dinner in the morning. mostly, though, around five o'clock i'm dodging two toddlers and attempting to make a tasty and healthy meal. my honey's schedule changes somewhat every week - two to three days a week he works long, long, late days. since i don't have a car while he's at work, i'll often run an errand here or there in a very sporadic-like fashion in case we need milk or bread or diapers. heaven forbid we ever run out of diapers. i clean my house when it looks dirty. i do laundry when we're out of clothes. i wish i could say that every monday was vacuuming day and every tuesday and thursday was laundry day. nope. and i'm okay with that.
because when i look back on this sweet life the Lord has given, i won't regret not vacuuming on mondays or doing laundry every tuesday and thursday. i'd rather look back and see a gal who let go of the perfectionism and the i have it all together mentality to see how His grace covered me and carried me.
how do you do with time?
ps. professional moms are welcome here. : )
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38 {comments}:
LOVE this post and your perspective!! I was SO helped when I adopted a similar attitude - especially about quiet times. Good for you for being so transparent :)
I am kinda like you I do laundry when it needs to be done and clean when things look dirty. I always think of what I have done at the end of the day and it never seems enough. Sometimes I think I should make lists to see all I have accomplished. I also try to use the crock pot a lot!!
I've been really convicted about my management of time lately, so your post is quite timely. ;) Lately, I've just been giving myself grace and freedom to do what needs to be done, and asking the Lord for self-discipline.
How funny. Your time management sounds exactly like mine. I find as a stay-at-home mom I go insane if I try to be all scheduled because babies and toddlers don't go by schedules. We eat lunch every day between 11:30 -12 and Cora naps right after lunch. That is our schedule. We eat dinner at 6. Otherwise we are scrambling for order. I used to clean while Cora was napping. Now I don't know what I'll do as I'm breastfeeding all the time:) My husband I both are not big planners. We don't have long lists and planned out calendars (He does for his work)...guess we just go with the flow.
i don't have a set schedule either, but i think i need to. i'm horrible about managing my time...i get distracted and don't get anything done. i need to start looking at my creating time as a job and mark off days to create.
When I had my first child, I thought for some reason that being uber scheduled made one a good mom. After having a second baby, I went to the more free spirited way, like you. I got so annoyed when a friend would say things like, "Oh, sorry, we can't come to that today. Suzy naps from 10:57-12:14..." However, since we've brought our newest child home from Uganda, I've had to go back to being scheduled. He is used to a rigid schedule and finds comfort in it, even if it's not my favorite way to do things.
Well said - I am trying to prepare myself mentally for the life of a mom and let things go. I'm more concerned about my husband and his perfectionist ways. Life is a balancing act and if we all lived the straight and narrow on somebody else's watch...I think we'd all fall. I need that down time, that freedom, that sense of peace. Nicely done.
I used to be a perfectionist too...and then I had kids! I actually kept the to do list through my first two, but by the time number three came around I had lost that list:)
I absolutely LOVE THIS POST. (Sorry about the caps, it's important to express my emotion in this) ;) I'm like you are (duh, twinkies) in this area. We go with the flow at our house. Nap time is sacred and needed, so we always try to be home for it. Other than that, we go with the flow. Because life is short, and sometimes you just have to live. Sometimes the dishes wait. And God gives us grace and freedom to make our own choices, it's up to us to be in communion with Him, gaining wisdom to know if we're truly glorifying the grace-giver.
Life isn't about set time tables and strict schedules. It is the messy moments and the little surprises!! I know that you are doing a wonderful job!!
PS I have been meaning to tell you that I love your new blog design!! What font is that in your header? I love it!!!
I was seriously just talking about this last night to our house church. The importance of slowing and enjoying the moment of life we are in instead of rushing into the next thing. "Be still and know that I am God" Ps. 46:10 So often we allow ourselves to rush to the next thing or the next milestone and often forget that God gave us this moment and this day to enjoy. Thanks for sharing :)
I love your little p.s. haha Your days sound much like my days... hubby with a different schedule every week, one car, shoot now we're even down to one phone! But I love it! I love not having a specific laundry day and such. I tried that and it only left me feeling stressed and high strung all the time. I'm so thankful for a husband who treasures the moments as well and doesn't care about dirty laundry or dishes in the sink. I'm thankful that I don't jump when the phone rings - I can let it go to voicemail and not worry that I'm going to be "in trouble" if I don't answer because my friends feel the same way I do... that every moment with my child and my husband is precious. :)
I'm so glad you learned it at a young age. I didn't learn it until after I got sick in my late 40's early 50's. Now that I'm older and should be wiser, I do little bits here and there as needed. God has never punished me yet for doing it that way.
Have a Blessed Day!
Love,
Grandma
i'm with becks...i know that for some the lists and such can be too constricting, but for me i need it. i need to get better actually. i feel like i waste a lot of time...but i do know that too much structure can turn you into a crazy woman too. so i don't want to be that girl either...oh, the balance!
i'm a bit chaotic but i'm trying to keep things in perspective.
i do like yours.
time slips away without getting much done though. i might have to adopt a similar attitude like yours...thanks to you.
it's so nice to have met you, i love your blog.
have a great day!
betty
Great post! I also realized in the early days of motherhood that trying to stick to a strict schedule or to-do list was only frustrating for me. Living each day as it comes works much better for us. :)
great post, friend! i grew up in a very rigid home, so i feel like i am constantly having to fight that condemnation that comes with being the scatter brain person that i am. in my 32 years, i have learned to step more into who God created me to be and although i have had to be more scheduled with 3 kids, it's okay if everything isn't ship shape.
J'adore you.
We are twins. It's settled.
Me and my need-to-have-a-to-do-list nature needed to read this today. I am just like that, get so flustered when I don't finish all I "needed" to do, when really, did I need to do it all anyway? Sigh. Work in progress :)
My days are a lot like yours. Other than school M-W mornings everything is very flexible and I have no set plan for anything really! I just kind of go with it. :)
In a professional type "B" girl myself, when I was first married I enjoyed keeping a tidy house then I got pregnant and that all flew out the window. I say good for you for taking a nap when you can!
Finding a balance between letting things go and getting things done is the key for me and is an ever-changing process. I do think you have to have a "let it go mindset" most of the time or you will indeed drive yourself crazy!
I love this!! I am not even a Mom, just a wife who really thought having a spotless house and managing to take care of everything else was the way to be. Working 6 to 7 days a week and taking Calculus has changed my mind, it really doesn't matter that there is an enormous pile of laundry waiting to be folded and another load just hanging out in the dryer. Letting go of smaller things has really helped my sanity!! I'm so glad it's ok not to do it all!!! Your kids will definitely thank you! I am so grateful for the amount of time my parents spent with us!
i'm not a huge list maker.
i probably should be!
i also need to let a lot of things go as far as perfectionism goes.
i don't want my kiddos to remember mom being cranky and having to have all of the chores done, when i should be enjoying them while they are here. :D
great post, friend!
xoxo
I'm far from a professional mom- but we all try!! I love your words- I love your perspective...trying to keep up to a strict schedule stresses me more than the dirty house or laundry. Gotta learn to let it go and take it as it comes:)
Ahhhh...this is such perfect timing, Carissa! Yesterday I kept thinking that I NEED to MAKE a LIST, because I have so many loose things to take care of.
For me it can be helpful to have a list. But on the other hand, list or no list, I seem to be assessing how much I "GOT DONE" in a day. I totally get that perfectionist attitude. And then today, I cleaned both bathrooms and was happy about that, but then was thinking that it would be nice to have the WHOLE HOUSE clean at once. The other day I vacuumed upstairs, but not downstairs. Oh well...it doesn't really matter...like you said, we won't regret it.
Great post!
Heidi
Oh, my goodness, I am the Queen of Lists and always have been. I find I'm more productive that way. Both my Dad and Mom were highly organized folks and both lived by a list, so it's genetic with me. :o) But, I say, whatever is working successfully for you is A Okay! You always bless my heart with your posts!
Our schedules sound very similar. My grandma always said "they won't remember you for how clean your house was."
ps ~ why did i think you were older than 26? that's a compliment btw :)
I love that we are the same! Yay for flexibility:). You are an amazing mommy and I think you are doing just fine. ;) a friend at work once told me that when it comes to having kids "the days are long and the years are short." I'll always remember that! Love u!
I'm not a mom, but I definitely relate to letting a to-do list dictate my success/mood/heart. Thank you for the wise words!
I hear ya! although I'm somewhat in the middle, I follow somewhat of a schedule, but its loose. Meaning if the floors don't get cleaned by Monday its not a big deal, we just move it to Tuesday or if the wednesday library day doesn't work cause we decide it should be a home day then thats what we do. If kids need naps early then we roll with it, or if for some reason the nap time doesn't take then we pack up and head to the park.
oh I do have one strict item on my schedule....10:00 coffee break, seriously, otherwise I would never get my coffee...
I'm somewhere in the middle of it all. I'm nowhere near a strict-schedule girl, but I do like to make myself a list and have daily goals, or else I won't get done as much as I need too.
But I do love flexibility. And I love that you're letting yourself be flexible and letting God dictate your life :-)
i go back and forth....over the years i want structure, lists, order....which then stresses me out....then i will go with just doing as i go with a somewhat semi list in my head then everything gets out of control...and then i get stressed out too! lol! i'm still trying to figure it out but i tend to go the latter route. : )
A quote I have on my wall is "Don't prioritize your schedule. Schedule your priorities." I think there is beauty in a life that is a testimony of grace that sustains daily, through the peace and the storm. May our lives be that kind of testimony!
So open, honest and encouraging! Thanks, girl! I needed to read that, and I'm not even a mom, yet! :) - Rachel
i was a list taker....and a schedule person...i thrived on it...it made me who i was
then i had lily
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