light burns brightly

(this is our really big, fat, awesome news)

Christmas morning showed up with a chilly temperature and a certain chatty eagerness about the kids.  Kelly left early for work (church) while the kids and i lounged in our jammies until it was our turn to get ready to head off for worship.  i hear a knock on the door.  i assumed it was Kelly, he must have forgotten a guitar pic again, and answered right away.  much to my surprise, looking back at me was someone not my husband.  instead it was a family.

i was dingy, fresh from the bed sheets, my hair ratty, my face covered in splotchy morning appearance, standing in my oldest pajamas.  all i could say: i am not even dressed, i've been sick (probably still recovering from heaving my guts out the days prior), and i look awful and hi and Merry Christmas.

they smiled, said Merry Christmas as they handed me some shiny car keys. (to reiterate: they gave us a car!)

then this is where it really got embarrassing on my end.  i sobbed the ugly cry but for good reasons. it was so ugly, they got teary. they uttered pretty things like... "God has put this on our heart, we want you to have a reliable car, we've been blessed and want to pay it forward, God is providing for you through us and we couldn't be happier..."

i was speechless.  still sobbing.  trying to speak a thank you.  their lights in our dark place of need were burning ever so bright.

///

so the journey of our family with one car comes to an end.  it's been eight months this go-around.  the year before it was ten.  i can go grocery shopping on a monday.  i can go to Bible study on a tuesday. i can take my kids to the doctor. i can always go to church on sunday.  endless possibilities float the horizon.

i'd love to say that i learned a great deal of patience or contentment through this little trial of being home-bound, but honestly, i was whiney, felt alone, almost abandoned, sad, and fighting depression.

  

God didn't give us a car because i had finally learned some huge lesson.

God gave us a car out of His love and mercy and kindness.  this giving family, had compassion, saw our need, cared about our need and met our need, all in the bright name of Jesus.  we could never be deserving.

this gift of a car, points to an even greater Gift.

we come to Jesus all dirty, sin-laden and ratty, He hands us the keys to eternal life with open arms, we try to say thank you, knowing no thank you could ever be enough to fully express our gratitude and He simply gives.  His light in our dark places burns ever so bright.

i tell this story to remind you that God is a God of provision.  even when we are undeserving.  because we're always undeserving.  always.  and if you're in a place of need, keep trusting.  He is there and He will be there always to meet you and your needs.