my way or the high way.

i'm not really good at self-diagnosis.  because in reality, i'm a mess.  i over-think/analyze everything to a fault and end up with a jumbled jigsaw puzzle of a diagnosis.  until the light bulb came on one day several years ago.  i found out what was dangling on the roots of all my issues.

i had (still fight the symptoms often, though) a disease that involved feeling like i deserved certain things.  my childhood was rough, and, as a result, i felt like i was owed something.  life post childhood was supposed to be full of ease and abundant blessings.  i mean, i was "owed" that.  i became an adult, got married and ended up with a new set of baggage that i would've wished away in a heartbeat.  and because of that, felt like i was owed something on a whole new level.  

i envisioned the american dream. - a debt-free life, decent cars (two to be exact), good health, a house with a picket fence.  or at least a backyard fence.  and pretty green grass and shady trees.  i laid claim to stylish clothes, pretty hair, at least one vacation a year, how ever many kids i pleased... in a nutshell, i wanted my way.  oh and a date night once a month... might as well throw that one in.  ; )

but then i came to a realization at some point.  God had been working (still is!)  in my selfish, fragile heart to show me that i was/am wretched, poor, and helpless.  i began to see the major error in my deserving/entitlement attitude.  in reality, all i warrant is death and destruction.  i'm full of ugly sin.  but God, in His rich mercy, sent Jesus to die for my sin.  and in Jesus, i have every abundant blessing - life everlasting, communion with God, a cleansing of my conscience.  i'm glad God doesn't do things my way...  His way is the high way.  

do you struggle with this?  it's hard not to want ease living in the land of plenty.  i have to constantly transform my mind by renewing it with Scripture...

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. 

(Ephesians 1:3-4 ESV)




i'm linking up with Rachel ~
i'm thankful for the reality of Christ in my life.  it's not about the stuff of this world or what i think i deserve.

miscellany monday

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1. His grace abounds.

yesterday our pastor shared a tiny bit about Peter.  Peter denied Jesus.  and yet, after Christ rose from the grave the angel told Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Salome to go and tell His disciples and especially Peter (Mark 16:7).  if you ever wonder whether you're too far gone for God's redemption, this is a clear reminder that you are not.  our God is rich in mercy.


our attempt at a family easter shot.

my girl.

2. something borrowed. 

i recently became aware of matilda jane clothing.  it is the cutest stuff ever.  but since their little girl's dresses are in the $50+ range, i just enjoy seeing other girls wear it.  : )  sage, though, was in for a little treat this Easter.  she got to borrow a matilda jane dress from her sweet friend.  how cute is this:  

so the last few pics didn't show the dress very well, but still, i mean look at her.  this mama is drooling over here.

3. farewell howel.

when i was in the 4th grade, i received one of my favorite gifts ever (thank you grandma).  it was a white towel.  not just any white towel.  it was small, had a button and a clasp and made just for hair.  i think it's proper name is a turbie twist but i named it howel (like towel+hair... i combine a ridiculous amount of words like this and think it's the funniest thing.  my husband reminds me it's not and so eight-year-old-ish.).  i just plopped my wet hair in my howel and let it dry up there for a few minutes.  it sounds completely unnecessary, but i'm telling you, it's worth it.  after much sadness and some regret, after dozens of laundry loads and an obscene amount of bleach, it had to be thrown out.  it was nasty.  i probably should have done this a long time ago (think years).  if you don't have one, you really want one.  

 {via}

4. my new mantra:

don't cry over spilled milk(shakes).

5. never buy this even if it's free.

smart balance light spread (keynote: if you are buying butter and it's called spread rather than butter, that raises a red flag).  i should've known.  my frugality overtook my brain... i mean it was on sale, half price plus i had a coupon.  it sounded healthy and even contained flax.  i hate to break it you....... it tastes like an equal combination of salt and chemically engineered ingredients.  yuck-o.  don't ever let it set foot in your cart.

walking side by side.

my brother, Chad, is almost a senior in college and calls my husband his hero.  i can't blame him. my honey makes me swoon too.  it's really a beautiful gift to have someone to look up to.  someone you desire to imitate, to go to with questions when it seems like there are zero answers, to encourage, and to tell you when you're dead wrong {saved the best part for last ; ) }.  i've had people like this in my life - heroes - and continue to look for more.  there's something about a person who follows Christ with passion, lives life to the fullest, serves others, is honest in everything, and a well-rounded beautiful person.  i think about Hebrews and the faith hall of fame (Hebrews 11)... those are some serious heroes.  it's so good for us to have others to look up to in the faith.  when others have travelled the path before us it's wise to go to them for directions.  

my little Hunter sure looks up to his Uncle Andrew.  Andrew is 12 {my youngest brother} and i've explained the responsibility of a role model to him.  let's hope he doesn't forget it.  

and then there's my little sister, Melanie.  she's almost 11, wants to wear what i wear and begs for my shoes that are two sizes too big.  {her claim to my closet has been staked; now she's just waiting for me to kick the can.} so yeah, i gave that role-model talk to myself too.  : )

there are a few ladies at church that i have my eye on.  they're Godly wives, servant-hearted, graceful and wise.  i'm soaking it all in.  life is lived well when it's done within a community of walking side by side, prodding each other on in the faith, whether it's finding yourself a hero or being someone's hero or all of the above.  

ps. if you've noticed the new-obnoxious-how-could-you-possibly-not-notice-watermarks {except for in the first picture... didn't want to cramp my style too much}, you'll see that i've jumped on the recent bandwagon to be extra cautious.  cause it never hurts to be too careful.  i've heard stories lately of people stealing blog photos to create fake families on facebook.  creepy.  weird.  i also am debating between disabling the right and left click.  we'll see.  the wordsmith leanna wrote an awesome post all about watermarking, in case you're curious.

miscellany monday

write random and join in.

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1. goodness from greece.

greek yogurt is my new obsession.  i tried it once and i most assuredly had either a bad batch or a bad brand, because i've since tried it again and i'm hooked.  fage is my favorite so far.  the honey and strawberry+goji berry varieties are the best.  i'm spoiled and will never be able to go back to yoplait.

2. magnificent mag.

if i was to ever get a magazine subscription it would be to whole living.  they have so many ideas to help you save money by creating natural remedies and recipes.  all with a health conscious mind.  i'm not a full blown naturalist, but i appreciate trying your best to eat and live a healthy lifestyle.  it's part of being a good steward.  while perusing an issue i came across this avocado mask that my face is dying for me to try:

3. snazz up your sandwiches.

if you're like me, you are totally boring and eat sandwiches with turkey or tuna and some spinach.  how lame is that.  i don't prefer mayo and i don't love mustard.  here are some new ideas for spreads (thank you whole living) that i'm all about:

a. mashed avocado: (makes 2 tbsp) mash 1/4 cup avocado with 1 tsp olive oil and the juice of 1 lemon wedge.

b. hummus with chile: (makes 2 1/2 tbsp) mix 2 tbsp hummus with 1 tsp olive oil, a pinch of red pepper flakes, seasoned with sals and pepper.

c. yogurt herb spread: (makes 1/2 cup) mix 1/2 cup 2% greek yogurt, 1 tbsp each chopped fresh mint and parsley, and 1 clove minced garlic in bowl.  season with salt and pepper.

d. walnut parsley pesto: (makes 1/2 cup) process 1 cup packed fresh flat leaf parsley, 2 tbsp toasted walnuts, 2 tbsp grated parmesan, 1 clove chopped garlic and 1 tbsp lemon juice in a food processor.  with machine running, gradually add 2 tbsp olive oil.  process until smooth.  season with salt and pepper.

4. random factoid.

it has been almost exactly one year since i've had a hair cut.  am i gross or what?!  almost exactly a year ago i chopped ten inches off my hair (worst decision ever) and am slowly waiting for it to grow back.  it is a s-l-o-w moving process.  i'm still taking prenatals for nursing and biotin so you'd think my hair would be in full fledge growth mode.  nope.  it's maybe grown five inches in a year.  i'm scared to cut it because i don't want to lose any length.  decisions decisions.  

5. happy Easter week.

my honey sang this song yesterday in church (he's the worship leader) for Palm Sunday.  i've been meditating on it and will continue to do so this week as we prepare to celebrate the joy and hope of the risen Christ.  here's an excerpt of Hosanna (which means "please save" or "save now"):

Hosanna, by Andrew Peterson

"We cry for blood, and we take your life. Hosanna! We cry for blood, and we take your life. It is blood, it is life that you have given.

You have crushed beneath your heel the vile serpent. You have carried to the grave the black stain. You have torn apart the temple’s holy curtain. You have beaten Death at Death’s own game. Hosanna! 

O Hosanna! Hail the long awaited king, come to set his people free. We cry O Hosanna! Won’t you tear this temple down, raise it up on holy ground. O Hosanna! I will lift my voice and sing: you have come and washed me clean. Hosanna."

the upside.

as of tuesday, we are once again a single car family.  which means honey drives our single vehicle to work 30 minutes away each day.  leaving the kiddos and i at home.  all day long.  but, we can go outside on walks so at least it's springtime.  i've done this thing before... for like 8 months.  i can do it again, i just would rather not.  ; )  it's only been two days and i feel the gloom setting in {to put it plainly, i've been an unhappy camper}.  in an effort to look on the upside, i will.  because there are worse things in life than not getting to go where you want to go in the daytime.  it's all about perspective, i tell you.

:: this could be an awesome opportunity to clean out every single closet and drawer in our house; we will have a really clean house.  

:: i don't have to take as many showers {sorry if that sounds disgusting... my hair resembles a five year old matted mop so i like to avoid having to do it as much as possible}.  

:: we will save money on gas and insurance.  

:: we can go to our neighborhood pool everyday and fool everyone into thinking we've been to the bahamas.  {and if you saw our pool along with the pool crowd you'd laugh really hard... there's nothing vacation-like about it.  lets just say that the adult supervision rule is never enforced}.

:: get to see God provide for us just as He always has.

i'm sure i'll come up with some other benefits.  here's to hoping.  : )

i'm linking up with sweet Rachel ~

because when you get lemons you have to make lemonade... to find joy and to be thankful.  it keeps things in perspective; i'm trying to embrace the upside.  

miscellany monday

write random and join in below.

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1. dear humanity et al: 

spray-on sunscreen doesn't work.  the wind eats it mid-stream leaving your body bare and susceptible to the cancer causing rays of mr. sun.  be warned.  and after living near the beach my whole life, i'm reminded of this yet again this year at the expense of my splotchy skin.

2.  beach babies.

going to the beach with two young children is an entirely different experience.  laying out what?  but, i must admit... it's way more fun this way.

our beach set-up... we brought everything but the kitchen table.

helping daddy fish.

playing at the beach works up your appetite.  beach or not, Sage's appetite is extra hearty (obviously). 

3. magazine moments.

i've forgotten about the goodness of a good magazine.  honey and i had a date this weekend (second one since Sage was born.  it was a treat to get some alone time!) that included dinner and then a trip to barnes and noble where we sat and looked through magazines.  for free.  sometimes i feel like it's too good to be true.  you don't even have to buy them to enjoy them.  score.  i gathered whole living, photography how-to, and the food network magazine.  if you need a date idea that costs nothing, this is it.  

4. a dress for date night.

whenever you are in the midst of having babies your wardrobe kind of goes kerplunk.  i don't think i've bought spring or summer clothes since 2007.  this was a deal that i had to indulge in ~

5. coming soon to my bookshelf.

if you're like me, you are often perplexed by social media.  it's good, but it's addicting.  it's a way to stay in touch with people, but also time consuming.  overall, the good mostly outweighs the bad (i think) as long as it's in moderation.  however, how does it effect faith?  my walk with the Lord?  does it?  all of these are questions i grumble over... what do you think?  i'm highly anticipating this book - The Next Story: Life and Faith After the Digital Explosion by Tim Challies:

things i've learned as of late {part two}.

{part one is here}

red headed curly haired little gals just might be the most beautiful things ever.

she belongs to our dear friends

{and therefore, i'm urging Hunter to go ahead and reserve her now.}

boys were made to get dirty.

hunter and jude - jude belongs to some more of our dear friends 

there are some things worth wasting calories on other than chocolate.  shocking, i know.  proof:

cream cheese cinnamon crescents

ingredients:

2 (8 ounce) cans crescent roll dough

2 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese

1 3/4 cups sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla

1/2 cup butter

1 teaspoon cinnamon

directions:

roll out one can of crescent rolls in the bottom of a 9x13 greased baking dish.  cream together 2 packages of cream cheese.  add 1 cup sugar and 1 teaspoon vanilla.  mix well.  spread this mixture over the crescent rolls.  lay second tube of crescent rolls over the mixture.  melt 1/2 cup butter, mix in 3/4 cup sugar and 1 teaspoon cinnamon.  pour over the top.  bake at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes.  

my Sagey poo loves to be in a swing.

i'm actually thankful i don't have a computer to use unless my honey is home with his laptop in the evenings.  the other day, i did have the laptop and during my little's nap time i did computer "work."  aka - the biggest time waster in existence.

if you sell meat out of a cooler in the back of your truck and ring my doorbell during nap time {and disrupt my computer "work"} i'm not a fan of you.  raw meat for sale belongs in grocery stores or butcher shops.  

{via}

and on that note, i bid you a happy weekend.  ours will include a trip to the beach.  it's bound to be good.

miscellany monday... short/sweet style

write random and join in below.

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one.

as warm weather kisses my skin and sunshiney blue skies grace the air, it's harder to think.  makes sense?  not really, i know.  but i can so easily let go of any and every worry just by being outdoors and getting a little vitamin d therapy. i drift into the land of care/fancy-free so much so that my mind relaxes and i really rest.  it brings such a calm to my usual high strung self.  i'm in love with spring for this very reason.  thank you God for pretty weather!

two.

grocery prices are getting quite ridiculous.  it seems like the cost of basic items has almost doubled in the last five years.  too bad the salaries haven't.  ; )  i'm terrible at the whole grocery store scene.  i get there, take a wet wipe to the cart if the kids are in tow (i'm not usually a germ-o-phob... we've just been sick for months so i've begun to take precautionary measures), pull out my list that i'm convinced somehow turned into chinese on the car ride over and i start sweating.  my mind goes a million miles a minute trying to stay in budget while thinking about breakfast, lunch and dinner for the next week, all while telling Hunter for the thirtieth time to sit back down.  lesson #1: i could save myself some sweat if i went alone.  anyways, all this to say, we may just start eating rice and beans like Dave Ramsey suggests.  the promise of Trader Joes (aka - my favorite grocery store EVER) coming to town gives me hope, though.  

   

three.

i'm going to get mushy gushy for a split-second (don't worry, this has a happy ending).  i heard my friend call her dad, daddy.  i thought about my daddy that died when i was nine and how it has been almost 17 years since i've called someone that.  it made me sad.  but then i heard Hunter call for his daddy and my heart was lifted and i was so thankful.  i hope i get to hear that for many many many many years to come.