light burns brightly

(this is our really big, fat, awesome news)

Christmas morning showed up with a chilly temperature and a certain chatty eagerness about the kids.  Kelly left early for work (church) while the kids and i lounged in our jammies until it was our turn to get ready to head off for worship.  i hear a knock on the door.  i assumed it was Kelly, he must have forgotten a guitar pic again, and answered right away.  much to my surprise, looking back at me was someone not my husband.  instead it was a family.

i was dingy, fresh from the bed sheets, my hair ratty, my face covered in splotchy morning appearance, standing in my oldest pajamas.  all i could say: i am not even dressed, i've been sick (probably still recovering from heaving my guts out the days prior), and i look awful and hi and Merry Christmas.

they smiled, said Merry Christmas as they handed me some shiny car keys. (to reiterate: they gave us a car!)

then this is where it really got embarrassing on my end.  i sobbed the ugly cry but for good reasons. it was so ugly, they got teary. they uttered pretty things like... "God has put this on our heart, we want you to have a reliable car, we've been blessed and want to pay it forward, God is providing for you through us and we couldn't be happier..."

i was speechless.  still sobbing.  trying to speak a thank you.  their lights in our dark place of need were burning ever so bright.

///

so the journey of our family with one car comes to an end.  it's been eight months this go-around.  the year before it was ten.  i can go grocery shopping on a monday.  i can go to Bible study on a tuesday. i can take my kids to the doctor. i can always go to church on sunday.  endless possibilities float the horizon.

i'd love to say that i learned a great deal of patience or contentment through this little trial of being home-bound, but honestly, i was whiney, felt alone, almost abandoned, sad, and fighting depression.

  

God didn't give us a car because i had finally learned some huge lesson.

God gave us a car out of His love and mercy and kindness.  this giving family, had compassion, saw our need, cared about our need and met our need, all in the bright name of Jesus.  we could never be deserving.

this gift of a car, points to an even greater Gift.

we come to Jesus all dirty, sin-laden and ratty, He hands us the keys to eternal life with open arms, we try to say thank you, knowing no thank you could ever be enough to fully express our gratitude and He simply gives.  His light in our dark places burns ever so bright.

i tell this story to remind you that God is a God of provision.  even when we are undeserving.  because we're always undeserving.  always.  and if you're in a place of need, keep trusting.  He is there and He will be there always to meet you and your needs.

miscellany monday

happy day after Christmas!  write random, recap your celebrations, and join in below.

1. this is the year i almost missed Christmas.  i told you that thursday was my most productive day all year.  well friday and saturday were my very least.  i had some kind of violent stomach bug that resulted in at least twelve (stopped counting once i hit the dozen mark) pukes.  it was baaaaad.  real bad.  i actually wished i could be in a hospital just to feel better.  

2. i missed kelly's family's Christmas celebrations and was sad over it.  instead i stayed home, cozy on the couch, oozy in my stomach, crying over pitiful Hallmark Christmas movies. then i read through the Christmas story in Luke and cried some more.  i'm so humbled that our God would stoop so low to save me and you.  

3. then!  yesterday was a new day and i felt close to normal, in time for the big day.  AMEN!  

4. Sage is ready for winter, whether the South is or not!  

5. every year our families spoil our kids like they have to buy their whole lives for them all in one day. it's really nice and i'm grateful and i am also making a trip to Goodwill tomorrow to get rid of some oldies.

6. i was pretty spoiled last week, too.  alely from oh, sweetlee me sent me this gorgeous hand-stamped necklace with a pearl and rose pendant, along with a beautiful ring, "just because."  i'm serious, it's like the Lord told the whole world i needed some major encouraging or something because everyone, like bunches of people, have blessed me in major ways.  #undeserving. 

7. if there ever was a little boy who looked up to a bigger little boy, it's my little boy with my brother.

8. and if there was ever a little girl who looked up to a bigger little girl, it's my little girl with my sister.

9. i'm the proud new owner of my very first pair of TOMS, courtesy of my awesome brother and his girl.  they are comfy and cute and outstanding.  

10. the TOMS givers.  they rock my socks (and shoes) off.

11.  my mom and step-dad.  he makes some mean sourdough bread that instantly takes us back home to sweet San Francisco.  

12. speak of the devil.  we ate fresh baked sourdough along with low-country boil (shrimp, sausage, corn, potatoes) for Christmas dinner.  slightly untraditional, totally delicious, and the perfect blend of our West Coast roots meeting the current Southern soil we trudge.

13. my daughter is glowing.  too bad Kelly and i are plagued with hat shadow.

14. i told Hunter yesterday that he looked handsome like daddy.  then he told me daddy pooped in Hunter's diaper like Hunter. ???

15. i'm trying.  i was told by a very wise woman (FPFG) to layer and layer until i can't layer anymore.  here's my attempt.  complete with my pocket tucked inside itself.  #slick, not.

16. if you're female, buy this music.  i got it for Christmas (well, Kelly bought it for me with an iTunes gift card he got... love it when he spends his gift cards on me! best man ever!) and i'm obsessed.  her voice is magic, her lyrics are real and poetic and resonate with every piece of me.  they could even make you cry.  in a good way.

17. i have a huge, big, fat, wonderful story to share with you.  i don't dare give anything away, other than to say that it needs it's very own post and our Christmas day was pretty much extra special this year.  coming to a computer near you soon.  : )

18. it's funny that i set out to make this a mini post.  and now it's a novella, turning out to be the longest miscellaneous yet. oh, and can you believe that this little meme of mine has been around for two years come this spring?!  thanks for joining in and enjoying it.  really, thank YOU.

enjoy your week, link-up below!

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christmas cheer.

yesterday was the most productive day i have had all year.  i did not even drink a red bull.  not that i normally do.  but now i'm wondering why i don't.

this is unwatermarked for a reason.  not sure if i really want to claim it.  it gets my eagerness across.  yesterday i was full of eager energy.  it was nothing short of a small miracle.  Sage has reverted to her newborn days, waking up 2-3 times/night and i've reverted to the zombie state in which i only do the absolute necessities.  all the unabsolute necessities piled up and thursday became the day i ran a marathon without even running a marathon to get it all done so i could enjoy this weekend. 

it started out rough with a dental appointment at 9 am in which i forgot about until 8:40 am.  somehow i made it there and came out with a good report.  if my teeth look clean this is why.

next on the agenda: errands, three craft projects, cleaning the entire house, make three meals for my family, grocery shopping, and an afternoon run.  

seriously.  i told you it was the most productive day of my year for a reason.  i blame the energy boost on these:

wednesday i made oreo truffles (they are easy peasy yet make you look like a famous chocolatier that everyone will adore) and ate ten too many.  

today i will make more because we ate the ones that were supposed to be for gifts.  #noshame.

i also ate an entire jar of this Trader Joe's Christmas delight (commonly referred to as pepper jelly) over a bed of cream cheese and wheat thins.  this is my kind of comfort food.  apparently, it helps with productivity.  

on to the projects.

i am really good at pinning things on pinterest.  but then i think my memory is amazing or something because i just start and finish a project that i have pinned without even referencing it.  i think i have managed to bypass the entire pinning point of pinterest.  so, i'm sure i saw these things somewhere, but i couldn't tell ya where.

project 1: present for daddy

kelly and i don't get each other Christmas gifts.  we never have; there just isn't room in the budget, and we're okay with it.  BUT. i did have a bunch of pictures printed, i had mod podge, a canvas, and thought, how could i not?!  this will go in his office at work.  and i gave it to him right after i finished it because i can't keep exciting secrets and mostly because i didn't want to wrap it.  efficiency is key.

project 2: present for my mom

(mom, you better quit reading now.  even though i hacked your amazon account to see what you're giving my kids doesn't mean you can get even.  remember, you're the better person.)

this is so easy and inexpensive.  i bought five wooden plaques that fit 5x7 pictures.  i had my little brother spray paint them black (because he's 13 and thinks spray paint is rad).  then, after the spray paint dried, i mod podged the photos i took of their family right on top.  you can attach hanging hooks to the back of the plaques. -i wish i would've done this before the mod podge rather than after.  this is where referencing a pinterest pin would've been handy. you live, you learn.

finished product:

can't wait to see these decorating their abode!

project 3: jar snow globes.

these were a last minute decision.  when i realized i could make them for under $5, i had to indulge in a little non-necessity crafting.  in honor of the kids.  they think they're pretty cool, but Hunter thought a snow globe meant it would snow outside; leaving him a bit disgruntled.

all you do is clean out a jar, glue some christmasy pieces to the lid, pour some snow in and screw the lid on.  add some burlap and twine and boom.  instant snow globe.  kelly thought i was crazy for not adding water and said they were lame and not real snow globes.  men.  they don't get crafting.

after all is said and done, i am ready to put the preparations aside and rest in the meaning of the season. hope you can, too.  we have a powerful reason to celebrate!

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given... and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. -Isaiah 9:6 ESV

linking with rach ~

change the world with a diaper change.

life feels small sometimes.  i mean, mine does anyway.  i don't have the ability to serve much at church or outside our home.  having one car feels debilitating.  my honey is completely involved at church (obviously, since it is his job) and it's easy to feel unimportant or not useful.  i change diapers and he leads people in worship.  he prays prayers that sound like liturgy and i tell my kids not to pick their noses.

i think a lot of us moms feel the same way.  we think staying home, raising babies, is a stage, and one day, maybe we'll make it to the big stage with curtains and all, ready to change the world.  but for now, this is our lot and so we try to enjoy it and soak up all the dripping goodness of child-raising.

and it is a gift, a good gift, one of the best gifts, to be home, shaping hearts and molding minds that hopefully reflect something Bigger than ourselves.

i can get lost in the daily's, waiting for the next stage to arrive, waiting for the change i think i should bring to the world. suddenly the potty training and the story telling feels like nothing much and we need to find significance somehow, somewhere, to feel important, to feel like our life counts.

but i'm thinking there's a thing or two (or two thousand) to learn from the Christmas story.

Jesus was a baby.  Jesus was a baby.  i cannot fully grasp the reality of this.  God Himself, came down, took on the form of a small, helpless, crying, child that needed a mother to care for him.  the Creator of all things was made low to save the lowly.  this story, the greatest one ever, is my Christmas story, it is my banner, my every day story.  this small baby is the biggest and greatest and richest true story ever told.

although i am not in Africa bringing drinking water to thirsty souls, i'm doing the small things God has asked of me.  my small things might just end up across oceans one day, doing work in the name of Jesus saying something like "my mom is my biggest inspiration."  just maybe.... the daily's are changing the world... one diaper change at a time.  all we have to do is show-up, live the lives we've been asked to live, and this is when we'll change the world.  no stage or curtains or applause needed.

miscellany monday and it's been 7 years!

merry Christmas week, lovelies!  write your randoms and join below.

1. music for your ears... my honey's cd with our worship band was released yesterday!  i am just a little proud of him.  ; ) take a listen below and get yours on iTunes.  it's Cross centered worship, complete with original songs by my man and two other band members, ben and leah.  you won't be disappointed.  i promise you!  yes, with my pinky and all.   they sold over 500 yesterday - wowie.  all the money goes to the church to make more music for His glory!  oh and get this... it was mastered by the same studio as Maroon 5, the Black Eyed Peas and Alison Krause with Union Station. hello, too cool for school. 

2. today my other half and i celebrate seven sweet years of marriage.  here's to seventy times seven more!!!  this man of mine puts up with so much of my whiney girl spats and still somehow manages to think i'm the greatest thing ever.  thank you, Jesus!  i happen to think my honey is entirely too good for me and am always humbled to think about how the Lord is so gracious to me, to give such a kind, caring, compassionate, chocolate loving husband.  because then i can come home laden with chocolate and disguise it as being a gift for him.  i love you, baby!  i love that God saw fit to make me yours and to give us our sweet babes. (these are a few family pics my talented friend amy took via our collaboration) (for an explanation of the darn santa hat see #3)

the littles were so grumpy!  it makes me laugh.

3. my son is obsessed with Santa.  he has his Santa hat on at mostly all times.  whenever someone asks him about Christmas he still replies, "i wanna be santah for hawoween."  i mean, seriously!!!  i talk to him about Jesus and the Christmas story probably five times every day.  at least.  we never talk santa.  and this is what i get.  i guess he can be my santa baby.

4. it's kind of a bummer to bake for a boy that's allergic to eggs.  i managed to find a sugar cookie recipe that is egg-free and called for cream cheese instead.  it turned out okay.  i wouldn't call them amazing, but maybe that's a good thing because i've decided that calories don't count at Christmastime and left self-control out in the cold.  this is why we spared our neighbors from our baking:

would you believe that he ate every single sprinkle off the cookie and that was it?!  and Sage didn't even want any.  #momscoredmajorpoints,not

5. winter time is a-comin'.  in three days officially.  can't believe it.  and neither can my weather report... forecast is in the 70's tomorrow.  i know i shouldn't act old and talk about the weather.  but sometimes i can't help it.  i like to wear boots and layers and warm coats at Christmas.  those of you in the frozen tundra hate me right now.  please, feel free, send frosty our way!  have a wonderful wintry week celebrating the most wonderful time of the year ever, whether it means sloshy snow or sunny skies.

grab the button and link-up!

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this mama got out of town.

for a cooped up mama with no car on the weekdays, wednesday was a new kind of day.  the worship ministry staff at our church (my man is the contemporary worship director) was gifted a trip to Charlotte, a dinner and an Andrew Peterson Christmas concert.  it was almost too much.  i go from cleaning up dog pee and changing diapers, to being child-less, in a pretty city, with good people, eating delicious food and hearing my most favorite music from artists we love best.  and i still missed my babies like all good mama's do. 

we arrived somehow slightly early, which was no small feat.  we lined up a tag-team of babysitters (thanks grandma and auntie!), picked up a rental car (rental cars are so rad when you don't have to pay for them!), grabbed our posse, and headed three hours north to interstate 77.  dinner was not served until 5 pm; we found ourselves with a good 40 ish minutes to kill.  so we headed across the street to First Presbyterian Church of Charlotte, walked inside, said we were Baptists from South Carolina and wanted a tour.  the receptionist told us that Ron would be right out to help.  Ron came looking slightly unenthusiastic with a black beanie on that said Security.  we softened him right up, though with some southern charm and he even took off his Security beanie. the church was built in the 1800's and is entirely stunning.

(shannan:  unfortunately i did not get a good picture of the naked angel baby cloud of witnesses on the stained glass.  and thank you for the sweater i'm wearing. : ) ) 

on to dinner at the King's Kitchen.  if you live near Charlotte or ever go, be sure to eat there.  Jim Noble, the chef had a vision to give people a new beginning.  the non-profit restaurant partners with local ministries to train the homeless to rehabilitate them; giving careers in cooking, waitressing, etc.  the food is signature southern cuisine and pleased every part of my palette.  plus, all profits go right back into the community to feed people.  fantastic!

best part of the day for last: the Behold the Lamb of God concert.  if you have not heard of Andrew Peterson, it's best you change that.  he is a phenomenal lyricist, story-teller and musician.  my man has a man crush on Andrew.  we have his books, cd's and i'm proud to admit that we know every single word to every single song of his. Behold the Lamb of God is the advent story, portrayed from the Old Testament to the New, through song.  in Peterson's words, it's "the TRUE tall tale of the coming of Christ."  not only did we get to see Andrew Peterson, but we saw Jason Gray, Jill Phillips, Andy Gullahorn, Andrew Osenga, and Ben Shive, to name a few.  they are each incredible musicians and artists in their own right, but when they come together, to tell the greatest story ever told, beautiful, music is played that tugs at your heart in every which way possible.  i felt sad, grieved, and overjoyed all at once over the story of Christ from the beginning of time.

our posse.  these are the funniest, most talented people i know.  and what is up with my turtle-like neck arching out of the shell of my sweater?!  (i'm the one right below where it says lowercase, in case you couldn't tell.  don't want anyone else to be blamed for a turtle-like neck.  i take full responsibility.)

(leah: i'm really going to miss not hanging out with you three times every week. thank you for lending your eye to take the pictures of kelly and i.)

it was a day that was good for my mind, body and spirit.  i relaxed, my spirit felt nourished with Christ-centered music, and i had lots of adult conversation.  yes, indeed, my favorite part of the week.  and worth getting home at two in the morning for.  even for this mama girl.

linking with rach cause she rocks.